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Writer's pictureMorah Yehudis

Bedtime

Is bedtime your favourite part of the day? My favourite is AFTER bedtime. AFTER the children are tucked in and it’s quiet. AFTER they asked for drinks and did a second bathroom run. Just let’s get to the AFTER part please!!!! And then I feel joy. I feel love and I feel guilt. Why do I feel so many different emotions? 

I think for all parents bedtime brings a huge sense of relief. The whining, fighting and keeping the kids busy and entertained comes to a halt. 

A funny thought comes to mind when I put my kids to bed. I love these children. Deeply. I take care of them with pride. Why do I love the AFTER bedtime so much?!! 

And then guilt sets in. I wasn’t so kind to my oldest, I could’ve talked to my daughter with more patience. All the should’ve and could’ve that Moms have. So just when I’m about to enjoy the AFTER bedtime experience the guilt sets in. How annoying is that?!!! I want to relax and take a break.

And then I think of how cute they are. And I think of the funny things they say and laugh. My mind is just obsessed with these children of mine. Being a mom brings with it a plethora of emotions. Love, joy and guilt to name just a few. Bedtime brings out those feelings for me. 

Joy: I get a very much needed break and time for myself. I worked hard and completed my responsibilities. 

Love: A bubbling feeling inside of me that these children are G-d’s great gifts that he has given to me and I’m filled with love for them. 

Guilt: All the things I should’ve done better for my children that day. 

So it’s finally AFTER bedtime and I’m feeling joyful, full of mommy guilt and endless love. Now how relaxing can that be?!!!

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