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Pickles and Ice Cream

I have no appetite. I stop at the bakery as I know if I don’t eat I’ll just throw up. I buy a donut and eat it in the car. It’s hard to remember the last time I enjoyed eating. The donut tastes like saw dust but at least it will keep me going for the next hour or two.

I wake up each morning feeling like I’m going to throw up. I gather the kids clothing and pray to be close to a sink or washroom. I no longer dream of my morning heavenly coffee. I just pray to be able to eat something, anything to keep this nausea at bay.

I remember one of my first pregnancies I didn’t realize that pickles and ice cream were a pregnancy craving. I showed up to my Shabbat table with pickles and ice cream while I served the rest of my guests cake and sweets. The large table of guests silently looked at me and burst out laughing. My secret was out. What a wonderful way to share the news!

My younger children are part of the fun. I noticed that at the beginning of this pregnancy they were getting frightened when they heard me vomit. I explained to them that the baby was dancing. This gave them reassurance that this was a joyful experience. I can’t say I feel joyful when I throw up but I can say that I feel thankful to HaShem for allowing me to bring another soul into this world. So pass the pickles and ice cream please!!!!

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