Have I gone insane?

At first I thought it’s all in my head. Waking up at night suddenly because of itching, having a hard time falling asleep and difficulty breathing deeply. After a few weeks of restless sleep and feeling like an absolute zombie, I decided to mention it to my OBGYN.

“Sounds like you have Restless Leg Syndrome” he said. So my insanity actually had a name. The restless legs and constant itching was a pregnancy symptom. And the breathing he continued “ is also from the pregnancy, the lining on the top of your nose near your sinus gets thicker and you have a harder time breathing.”

I took a deep breath. As deep as my pregnancy breath could get and responded to him, “you mean to say I’m not insane. Is that correct? “

The doctor smiled and then took a moment to turn to the resident in training and said to her, “you need to listen to your patient as it’s all in the details.”

I certainly felt listened to and heard. He suggested adding an iron pill, magnesium being consistent about taking prenatals and taking melatonin. But I am still awake late in the dark night listening to the silence. And getting nervous because G-d willing soon there won’t be silence and I will need to get up nurse and take care of the baby.

I am currently up and unable to sleep as the clock ticks by slowly. I am trying not to focus on how tired I will be tomorrow. I am breathing as deeply as I can and just watching the seconds go by because very soon G-d willing the silence will be broken by a tiny little bundle of joy.

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